


This Just Might Work

by MovesThatAreBooks



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Inappropriate Humor, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-04 07:56:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1771540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovesThatAreBooks/pseuds/MovesThatAreBooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn Fabray lives with  a fake Christian family and she's sick of it. She loves Rachel but cant act on it. What happens when she prays for a new family and something extra? G!P Quinn. AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Change Is Gonna Come

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first story and my first G!P. Hope you like it!

As I sit here at the dinner table in this fucking dress, I look around at my southern white Christian family.

Assholes.

Aunt Jamey has been screwing the milk man for years; Uncle Ben fucked his secretary and his daughter's college roommate. Cousin Benny (Ben Jr.) likes to suck dicks to get higher up in the law firm; Mom's a drunk while Daddy is a so called preacher who fucks the Sunday school teacher on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays service at 9 o'clock.

But I can't be in love with the bad ass Rachel Berry. I can't possibly be a lesbian whose obsessed with her sexy short body and perfectly weird nose , especially her chestnut locks with that one blue strip. I can never be a sinner who wants shred those ripped jeans and leather jacket off her and fuck her into obviation.

All because I would be a 'sinner'. I'd be a lot easier if I was born with a dick and cooler parents.

"Quinnie, would you like to say the prayer this fine Easter evening?" Mom fake smiles at me, bringing me out my muse.

"Of course, Mother, I'd be glad to. Would everybody join hands?" I say just as fake with a Barbie doll smile on. "Dear Jesus. Merciful father in Heaven. Thank you for this food that You have placed on this group of sinners," You'll need five crosses for Uncle Pete's sins. "We come today and asks that you change us," Preferably with a big rod and Rachel Berry as a girlfriend. "And we asks that You bless us with new life," New family and a thick one. "And finally, we asks that You bless us with a new heart," The heart to asks Rachel Berry to be my girlfriend and I'm still holding out for a cock stiffer than Aunt Carol's homemade casserole. "In Your name, Amen."

We open our eyes and Dad give the well rehearsed proud-of-you-show-smile. "Quinnie, that was a wonderful prayer! I've raised you perfect in the eyes of God!" If only you knew…

"I agree Russell, just yesterday she was going to her first vacation Bible school and her first church camp, now she's growing up! Seventeen year old, red-blooded Republican woman!" She gives this horrible laugh. Little does she know, I paid this guy on the street fifty bucks to vote for Obama.

My family laughs and tells the worst jokes ever to be heard. Cousin Benny continues to talk about Mr. Mitchell's promotion. Well I know what he's been promotin'.

"Lucy," oh shit.. here we go again. Uncle Pete's going to give a lecture. "I've been thinking. And I don't know if you're parents have talked to you about his yet, but its time for you to have a nice young fellow to stand by. What do say?" He grins his bleached teeth at me and ruffles my hair.

I smooth is down and smile again, trying to make myself blush. "I have my eye on a nice boy at school, Uncle Pete. I belive he's going to ask me on a date soon." Hearing this, my father straightens up and my mother places her hand over her heart. And the award goes to … QUINN FABRAY! *cheers silently in mind*

"Now who is this boy, where's he living, and is he a Republican?" Dad laughs, but I know he's serious.

"Daddy, his name is Samuel Evans, his father works at the bank with Mr. Smith. He's that blond guy I sit next to on the way to Church Camp."

"Oh! He's such a nice young man! You two would go together just lovely." Mom gushes with my aunts.

"Yes well, I'm sure he would love to meet you as my boyfriend," After I pay him. "But I must get going to bed, I have to volunteer at the animal shelter tomorrow morning at eight."

"Oh, how wonderful and caring! Goodnight, Quinn!"

"Goodnight." I receive a chorus of echoes as I go upstairs and go to bed.

Little did I know that prayer would change my whole life.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, I know I did! Thanks for reading. Review, Review, Review! :)


	2. Wrecking Ball

**A/N:** **I'll try my damnedest to make this a good story. Reviews are motivation, they make me smile and my fingers type faster. I own not a thing and all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!**

* * *

" _Mmm, Racheeeellll… baby, stop!" I giggle and swat her petite tanned hand away from my breast playfully. Lord knows I don't want her to stop, but I'll milk the hell out of this. "Rach, my dad is downstairs! W-we cant -Ah shit…" Rachel smirks and swirls the tongue around my earlobe with a quick nibble before she slides her hands from my hardened nipple to my navel while moving her tongue to stroke lazily on my left breast._

" _Are you sure you want me to stop, Quinn?" She asks hotly, looking up from where her body crawls down mine. My core is throbbing and hands find their way into her silky locks, waiting for her to reach her final destination. "let me go just a little bit…_ _ **deeper**_ _." She whispers, her cool breath hitting center causing me to moan and buck my hips. She lifts my thighs over her shoulders._

" _Are you ready Baby?" A kiss to the thigh._

" _y-yeah."_

" _Ready for what, Quinn?" A kiss and a lick to the other thigh. I just need her a little closer_

" _For you to suck my-"_

**I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLLLLL! I NEVER HIT SO HARD I LOVEEEEE**

I jump up with my heart bursting through my chest and panic, looking around for a threat before for brain finally gets from its cock-blocked haze and registers where the music comes from. I silently cures it out and slam my hand down on the alarm, still trying to catch my breath.

 _HOLY SHIT!_ I think I might have just had a heart attack because of that Cynthia look alike's song… like every fucking morning. Every morning I'm always scared to death by Miley Cyrus, AKA Cynthia (Angelica's fucked up doll from the Rugrats).

I hold my hand over my chest and look at the time. Its 7:15 and I have to get ready to clean some dog shit. I give a long sigh and move to the bathroom to turn on the shower. I turn to get my razor from drawer below the mirror when something catches my eye in the mirror.

 _Wait… tha- no! it can't be! That's me!_ I look in the mirror and see that my face has hardened and has become more defined. My hair is in a shaggy dirty blond mop that ends around my neck. I pinch my face and stretch it out to see if this is my face. Like I could do anything about it if it wasn't. I'd go to the doctor like ' _umm yeah, this isn't my face. I'm going to have to give it back.'_

 _Yeah, right!_ I scoff then look at my body. My arms have gained more muscles and I've become more toned. Not an overbearing fit, but athletic. I flex my arms and move like those body builders on TV. My boobs looks great! I squeeze my but and feel a nice and firm ass.

' _You look kind of sexy, if I may say so myself! '_

' _Why yes you can, Q. yes you can. *wink, wink*'_ …I've got to stop talking to myself. I creep me out.

My eyes travel farther south and rest on my gorgeous six pack. ' _Hell yeah, Rach, I'm coming to get you cumming.' unng, unng, ungg!_ I thrust my hips in the mirror and make mock sex noise soft enough so my parents won't hear.

' _You look and sound really weird, Q. might want to stop'_

'…  _ok.'_ My air thrusts stop at my own conscience.

' _Good, not let's move down furthers- Holy mother fucking, slit licking, cunt nugget, shit! I HAVE A DICK! '_

Sure enough, I look down to see that my sleeping pants have a bulge. I wiggle my hips around and it  _slaps_ me on the thigh!

' _I should touch it.'_

' _okay!'_ I move my hand down and cup my meat. "Hmm… warm, kind of hot… soft and hard? Must look into that later… OH!.. that felt good,do it again!... that's real good, Q… I wonder if Rachel would touch it loike this… yup! Right there!… mhmm… yup yup yup! That's it!... twist! O- oh! Uugghh.. YUP YUP YUP! RIGHT THERE! YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH'

Next thing I know, I freeze, I shale, and my hand and pants are covered in sticky stuff.  _'Oh **that's**  what it feels like to have an orgasm with a dick. They're right, its indescribable.'_ I pull my hands out of my pants and examine this sticky stuff.

' _Oooh, it's my skeet! It's an almost milky color… Interesting, must be googled later tonight. But first we must look at the penis!'_

I clench my eyes shut as I pull on the waistband of my pants and pull it out.  _Please don't be small, I forgot to estimate before I came! Lord, let me have a wand and not a twig! Please don't be fugly. Please don't like like Uncle Harry's, his balls are way too big for his little wrinkly penis. I'm sorry I walked in on him when I was seven, but let me have a nice dick, God, please!'_ I feel like I could cry with anticipation.

Hesitantly, I look down. ' _… mother fucker…'_

I look back up at my reflection before a huge grin breaks out on my face and I start squealing like a little girl. I do more thrust before I start dancing, making Quinn Kong move like a helicopter.

'I'M PACKIN! HELL YEAH! I'M PACKIN LIKE FEDEX, BITCH! I GOT A BIG PINK PEACH! I'M PACKIN LIKE A LESBIAN ON A FIRST DATE! ! I'M PACKIN LIKE A RAT WITH SWISS CHEESE! I'M PACKI- wait, what? …Swiss cheese?'

I stop dancing around the bathroom and look at myself. After two minutes, I shake my head clear and finally get in the shower.  _'I wonder if since this prayer was answered, my parents have changed too…'_

Only one way to find out.

* * *

**A/N: That's it for this chapter! I hope you all like it and please review!**


	3. Mom? Dad? oh, Sh*t!

**A/N: hello people! This is more of an informational chapter instead of a funny one. It has a little humor but mostly you're learning about what happens to Quinn. I own nothing and mistakes are mine. Also, Thanks so much for all the hits!**

* * *

I hurry up and take my shower, eager to see if my parents are my parents. I close my eyes and let the warm water wash over me. When I open them and reach for the soap, I notice the shower tiles are different. Instead of fancy fifties black and white tiles, I'm i see cool rectangular multicolored tiles consisting of different shades of blue, whites, greens, and oranges with Italian looking tiles around the border. I look around my bathroom in awe. The colors are just my style. I can only hope this is my house.

I get out the shower and go to 'my' room and look around for the first time. _Oh shit! Is that Batman?!_ I look round the blue and white room in awe. The shades on the wall sort of make it look like an ocean. It's everything Mom and Dad won't let me have. My old room was nothing but pink with white borders. _Reminded me of an infected vagina._

I breath in the essence of the room. Almost every wall has my favorite Superhero posters and Hunger Game and Harry Potter stuff. I turn around and am met with one of the greatest comic collections of all times on the wall next to a 32" flat screen and the ultimate gaming selection including a PS4 and Xbox One with a huge sound system. I admit I'm a bit of a nerd but my parents always said it was unladylike to indulge in it. _Whoever my parents are now, I love them already._

* * *

I go to the closet and change into some basket ball shorts and a superman shirt before I head downstairs. I hear the laughter before I turn the corner. _Definitely not my parents, they never laugh._ I follow the sound and end up in a warm green and wooden kitchen. I lock eyes on sparking green with laughter crinkling the corner of her eyes. Her tanned skin and dirty blonde hair are different from the usual orange tan and bleach blonde; I couldn't me more thankful. Her laid back appearance in sweets and a tank top make me happy that I'm not under-dressed in my own home. I guess I got the hair from her.

"Quinn, are you going to stand there all day and let your bacon get cold?" She asks, her voice was warm and inviting instead of tight and squeaky.

"You made bacon?! I must be dreaming still. I have to taste it to see if this is real." I mumble. _My old mom and dad never made bacon. I'm always had to leave an hour early and stop by IHOP before school to get the fatty goodness._ I rust around the cheery wood island and grab the plate off the counter and inhale deeply. I hear a booming laugh and a snicker.

"Not that you would mind anyways, I see." She finishes with a chuckle as she turns to my new dad. Well, I guess he's new. His hair is a short and trimmed brown that complements the blue green eyes. He's wearing a suit without the jacket so I guess he's about to go to work. Right now he has an empty plate and a cup of coffee in front of him while he reads the paper.

I feel more comfortable here than I've ever felt in my old house. I guess I can finally be myself.

"Mmm," I hum in happiness at my bacon. I put my precious down and turn to my new dad with a serious face. "Mr. Man?"

His eyebrows rose over his newspaper. "Yes, my darling sunflower?" he says in a fake English voice.

"Have you had this bacon?" I ask seriously. He looks amused but feeds into my games.

"Yes I have, made by your wonderful housekeeper." He winks and turns to my mom, "Cameron, I believe Quinn has something she wants to say. Quinn?"

Mom looks at me expectantly and I look right back at her and Dad. "Well speak up Quinn; my boobs are getting longer by the second." _She does the eyebrow thing too- wait. What? Longer by the- gross._

"Mother-" She arches her eyebrows and holds her hand up to stop what I have to say, effectively cutting me off.

"Mother? Is this our child, Brad?" _yes and no._ Dad smirks and looks back at us.

"I don't know, babe. She was a whoopsie but I think so." They laugh at my wide eyed expression as I freeze mid bite.

"Dad!" I huff with a jaw full of bacon. "Yes, mother. Now as I was saying; Mother, you've made me the best bacon I've even had in my entire life, well aside from Red Robins burgers extra bacon with a side of bacon." I smile at her, fluttering my eyelashes.

She mocks happy surprise with a hand to her chest and an open mouth smile before throwing the dishrag at me, "You talk the same shit every day, Quinn. No kiss your father, he's got to go." She shoots Dad a pointed look and taps her wrist.

"Oh! Shit, you're right as always. David's bitching about someone reports so I have to go to that meeting an hour." He gets up with his briefcase and kisses me on the cheek and mom on the lips with a quick slap to her butt. _Yup, defiantly new parents._ "Love you guys, I'll see you later girls!" he calls while walking out the front door.

* * *

Mom and I hear it close and she takes my plate and does the dishes while I sit there awkwardly.

"So, what cha gonna do today?" She asks with her back still turned.

It's the weekend but it's a little too warm for it to be around Easter in Lima, Ohio. "What's the date?"

"June, 4th. Why, you got plans?"

 _Summer break! Sweet!_ "Um, I guess I'll go swim if that's okay?" I ask hesitantly.

"Okay, just let me know what time and place."

"Cool." I get up to go back to my room when the calendar catches my eye. It's June 4th... _2014_?!

' _That's last year! '_

_'But it's this year.'_

_'NOW IT IS! It was last year last night!'_

_"You know that this means right?'_

_'No?'_

_'It means you're talking to yourself.'_

_'No Shit. t(-_-)t '_

_'It also means that this is the summer Rachel Berry moved from Cincinnati.'_

* * *

**_A/N: So Those are her parents! They are Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt. Rachel is next!_ **


	4. Rachel's Berries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rachel is in this one as well as some other gleeks! I don't own anything, just this weird ass brain. This one is long but oh, well... All mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

I go back up stairs to change into my swim clothes and process things.

' _Okay, so I've obviously woken up in some alternate universe and my parents look familiar but I don't know where I know them from. Apparently, they birth me , so Judy and Russell are not my parents. I'm in the same town, living a different life as Quinn… I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY LAST NAME!'_

It's too much to try to figure out so I just put on my bikini top and Batman swim trunks and make sure my wand is firmly tucked in my robes. I go down the stairs and find Mom in a cozy but modern looking office. I knock and she calls me in.

"Whats going on baby?" She leans back in her big black chair and takes her glasses off.

"I'm going swimming at the teen center."

"okay, be back by seven." She gets up and gives me a kiss on the cheek. It felt nice to have someone to kiss you without being in public for once. "Have fun, Q Bug. Love you bunches of oats. "

"Thanks, you too." I walk away to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I've haven't heard anyone say they love me with that much sincerity since I was a little girl.

* * *

I cover the chair by the pool with my towel and lay down to get a quick tan. I close my eyes and try to ignore the volume increasing of a girl screaming for some ditts. She sounds like she's getting upset and I immediately recognize the voice; Santana Lopez.

I sit up and look at her and wave with a big grin that goes un-reciprocated. "What the hell, Ditts? I've been calling you name forever!" She huffs as she walks over in her comic printed Wonder Woman swim suit. _If she wasn't so hung up on Britt and me on Rachel, I'd totally let her be the Pepper to my Iron Man._

"I'm sorry, I was lost in my head. And why do you call me Ditts?" I ask , putting my shades one and watch her lean back in the chair next to me.

"Well, _Quinnifer_. I'm going to explain this one more fucking time okay?" I nod quickly. "Because Jaylen Quinn Diaz-Pitts is too fucking much for me to say. I don't have the fucking time." She says with a wave of her hand in dismissal and lowers her glasses and looks across the pool at a blonde girl I make out to be Brittany.

"That is a mouthful, but just stick to Quinn okay?" She ignores me and I look over to a little bit of spit on the corner of her mouth where it hangs open.

"Santana?" No response.

"Lopez" Dreamy sigh.

"Tana Bana?" Nothing.

"San they givin out free food." More drool.

"Your mom rode Quinn Kong three different ways last night... It was exotic. Did you know she loses all her knowledge of English when she comes on my face?"

"DUDE! Shut the fuck up and let me fantasize about my dream girl, fucker! Damn!" She hisses and goes back to looking at Brittany.

"Okay, but you might want to wipe your chin." I laugh at her irritated expression ass she quickly and roughly swipes at her face. She flips me the bird with a glare. "Aww, Santana don't be like that!"

"Shut the fuck up."

* * *

I was whoppin some kids ass on COD while waiting for dinner. I guess Artie's my friend from school because he initiated it. Doesn't matter, still kicking his ass, friend or not.

"I'm gonna make you drink your own fuckin blood, shit head."

"Oh yeah? Well my brother just shot the shit out your tank." He says with a smirk in his voice. I'm upset but i wont show it, i'll simply get revenge for losing my only tank. I see that he tried to secretly tried to throw a grenade at me, i kick it super hard back and it fucks all his shit up.

"TAKE THAT CUNT NUGGET!" I yelled into my gaming headphones as I blew up all his supplies. "YEAH! YOU THOUGH YOU COULD BEAT ME, SLIT LICKER? is that it? well look at what I have then turn to what you have. Oh yeah, YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT, FUCKTARD! JUST WAIT-"

"JAYLEN QUINN! What have I told you about being too loud and using that kind of language in this house?" My mom's stern voice rings out, freezing me in the middle of my victory yell. I barely resister Artie's 'busted" at the look my mom gives me."Turn it off!" She hisses. _Jeez, I get in trouble with my new parents too._

"B-But I won..." I pout and point to the screen.

"No buts!" She says as she points to me and the gaming system. "Put this shit away and get your ass downstairs to meet he new neighbors. Hurry up, Q Bug, Brad's already down there waiting for us. The girl looks like she wants to blow us up and those two gay men look like they want to eat your father."

She sighs and rolls her eyes when sees my dejected look and pulls me into a hug. "You can play your game when you get back. But! No more cussing. It's fucking unladylike like." She says seriously. I can't help but laugh and she cracks a smile. "Come on."

* * *

We go downstairs into the living room and sure enough, a bald black man and a sandy haired man are both staring intently at my dad. _Might as well take a picture for your meat stash or put some salt and pepper on eachother's meat and entertain yourselves._

Dad spots us and gives us a grateful look, "Cameron! Come over here and sit down girls." He turns to the new neighbors to introduce us. "This is our only child and daughter, Quinn. Quinn say hi to the Berrys and their daughter Rachel." My head snaps up and my eyes meet the gorgeous eyes of the love of my life. Her hair has that blue strip and she wears a simple white v-neck and black skinny jeans with Converse. Thinking about what's under her shirt makes my dick rise faster than quick bread. _Damn, no need to get excited. Calm down big guy... Don't want to scare her by going Hulk mode._

"H-Hi, Rachel. I'm gorgeous and you're Quinn." I say with a charming smile until I realize what I said. _Shit!_ "What- no! You're not! I mean you are gorgeous, but I'M Quinn" _Shut up Quinn! "_ And you're Rachel. Rachel Berry, probably taste like berries" _Stop the fucking breathy/hiccup laugh! You're creepy!_ "You're gorgeous too, but Rachel first because that's your name." _Shut the fuck up, dumb nuts!_ "Unless it's a nickname 'cause then it would be your first real name first, then Rachel, then gorgeous... Cuz you are." _Say something else, she's looking at us like we're weird. Try to sound like you have brain cells!_

"Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Bismuth Technetium Helium Sulfur Germanium Thulium Oxygen Neon and Yttrium all add up to Fuck Bitches Get Money. Do you want to see my comics?"

I start sweating when all of them gape at me ,speechless with wide eyes. I chuckle nervously and point up the stairs before scratching the back of my neck, rocking on my heels. We stay like that for a minute before Mom awkwardly clears her throat and looks away. Rachel gives a husky chuckle and a wink in my direction before standing up and raising her eyebrows towards her dads. _I almost came my pants_.

"Well thanks for introducing yourselves to us, we really must get going. It's very nice to meet you." The black man said as he stood to shake Dad's hand. His husband followed and Rachel was last to walk out the door. My eyes followed that ass the whole time. I swear it was like she purposely swayed her hips to tease me _._ _Bad, Quinn Kong, bad! Stand down soldier!_

Dad closed the door and locks it before leaning back on it and looking at me. Mom tried to hide her laugh behind her hand, but I heard it. Dad opened and closed his mouth multiple times before speaking in a strained voice, trying not to laugh at my expense. "Quinn, that was a lovely introduction as well as the very interesting fact you just told us, now go to your room and hide in shame."

I hold my head high and walk up the stairs leaving the sounds of their booming laughter and cackles behind me. _Laugh it up, her sexy ass was on my couch and left an indent. Don't think I missed it! AND! She winked at me. Totally worth it._ _  
_

* * *

**A/N: OKAY! *Mr. Shue Clap* So that's how she meets Rachel Berry! I hope you liked it!**


	5. Bacon vs. Pepperoni

Santana and I met up at the bowling alley to go get some food since they have the best pizza. "You wanna spilt a whole one?" I ask her.

"Yeah." Santana says absentmindedly.

I turn to cashier and say we what a whole pizza. "What topping would you like, miss?"

I say "Bacon" at the same time she says "Pepperoni." We glare at each other and do rock paper scissors six times, but one of us would always cheat or it would tie.

"Santana, I don't know why it's an argument, bacon clearly is the better choice. " I say to her as I would a kindergartener.

"Listen here, limp dick. If I wasn't trying to buy the limited edition Spiderman comic book, I wouldn't be caught dead buying a pizza with you! We're going to fucking buy pepperoni or nothing!" She hisses.

"First off, that's not what Brittany said about my dick," Her eyes widen at my smug expression as I continue. " Second, I already have my limited edition copy so can buy a bacon pizza all on my own and your ass will go starving. " I give a satisfied grin at her angry expression.

The graying cashier looks very uncomfortable as she tries to stop us. "Umm. Miss there are people behind you. If you could just-"

"SHUT IT!" we snap at her and go back to arguing.  _I don't give a rats ass about the line, we're fuckin getting a bacon pizza if it's the last thing I do_!

Santana takes off her glasses and her Batman earrings, ready to fight me. "You trynna say you fucked my girl? Is that it?! Well at least I don't have a dick so small it looks like raindrops when I come!"

 _No the fuck she didn't._ I gaps and clutch the jeans in front of my dick. "You can't even say hi to her without passin out, so she's not your girl! And how dare you insult Quinn Kong like that! Say sorry, you inflatable titi having ass!"

"I aint apologizing for shit until we buy pepperoni!" She yells. "Now you better take that shit back!"

"I said the same thing to your mom when she gave birth to you!"  _That's right, burn motherfucker._ "Now order bacon!"

"Shut the fuck up, shriveled dick! No wonder you don't want pepperoni, it reminds you too much of your FACE!"

"That's from eating your mom out last night, bitch!"

"No cuz she was with Papi all night ling last night!" her angry expression turns disgusted as she pauses and realizes what she said . I laugh and she glares again. "Shut up, Quinn! No one cares about your five inch dick having ass!"

"Shut up, asshole! ORDER BACON!" by now the crowd is huge but we're too far gone to do anything like calm down.

"PEPPERONI! NOW SHUT IT BEFORE I RIP YOUR DICK OFF THROUGH YOUR  _ASSHOLE_!"

She shoves me and tries to take my money to buy the pizza! We end up in this awkward wrestling position and my face is smashed in between her boobs with my arm as far away from her as possible. She scratches and bites my shoulder as my other arm lifts her leg up in a way that I'm pretty sure is not suppose to move. I try to slam her to the ground like in those movies, but somehow my face ends up deeper in her bra and my knee hitting the floor painfully hard while she lands halfway on top of me.

_'I'M STUCK! I CANT BREATH!'_

_'SHE TRYNNA PINCH THE DICK!'_

_'MOVE, MOTHA FUCKA, MOVE!'_

_'I CAN'T! TAP OUT! TAP THE FUCK OUT!'_  My arm flails around and hits her on she face multiple times, signaling her win. We straightened and glare, silently trying to blow each other up in our minds.

"Why don't you just get half and half?" An annoyed voice rings out.  _That's my angel's voice!_

We both turn around to see Rachel standing there with a bored expression and arms crossed. I look at San and her at me and we both shrug our shoulders. We turn the she pale faced cashier with a smile. "Yes, we'd like a whole large pizza. Half bacon, half pepperoni, please."

The old lady looks like she could have had a heart attack and takes a shaky breath with wide eyes. "okay, that's a large pizza half bacon, half pepperoni. Would you like anything to drink?"

"San, you want a drink"

"Yeah."

"We'll take two cokes."

"That's twelve dollars and fifty-two cents."

"Okay." Santana goes to get her money out her pocket but I grab her hand and say I got it.

"You sure, Q?"

"Yeah, what are friends for right?" I grin. She gives me a cheesy grin and puts her glasses back on and scuffs her Joker Converse on the floor.

"Yeah."  _fist bump!_

* * *

We get our pizza sit down at the table in the corner. Halfway through enjoying it, I realize what i could have said when she said I had a five inch dick. " _I was five inches deep in your mom!"_  That would have been perfect, but I always come up with the best shit after its over.  _Damn_...

I'm brought out my thoughts when I see Finn Hudson walking to Rachel's table where she's eating her burger with no mustard extra pickles, and two tomatoes. N _ot that I stayed behind to hear her order or anything, I mean anybody would order that right?_

His extra-large hands lay on top of her table in a cocky manner. ' _I bet he doesn't have this extra-large dick.'_ I try to peek around his giant frame to see Rachel's expression. 'I _f i can just lean a little bit farther... holy shit! ouch!'_

"Quinn? What the hell are you doing? How the hell does your dumb ass fall out the chair?" Santana asks while helping me up.

I glare at Finn Hudson and point in his direction. "That big tube of lard is tying to talk to the mother of my future children."

"Didn't you just meet her today? She just moved here?" San tilts her head in this puppy dog fashion. I shake my head and beam at her while bouncing in my seat.

"Nope! Well, she did just move here, but we're neighbors! They came to my house and I could tell Rachel was totally soaking in my charm." I say leaning back in my chair and cross my ankles with a smug look. Santana just gives me a smirk response.

"You made an ass of yourself, didn't you?"

"Yup!"


	6. I Broke My Dick

After I got home from the bowling alley, my thoughts were filled with Rachel and Finn.  _Ugh, that image is about as appealing as a big bowl of crusty grits with lumps of ass à la cart._ I can't let him get his sweaty paws he calls hands on my girl. I need to speak to her and warn her that his wand is like a Ronald Weasley; it always cast too soon and misfires.  _mine is the Elder Wand! Stupifi bitches without sayin a word!_

I jump up from the bed and change into my newly proclaimed lucky X-Men boxers and khaki skinny jeans and a light colored Paramore t shirt, completed with a shark tooth necklace. I tie up my vans blue and white vans and run downstairs with a purpose. I spot mom and dad snuggled up on the couch watching Mob Wives while making their own commentary and laughing at it.

"Mom, Rachel lives in the blue house right? The one with the brown windows?" I ask as casually as I can.  _Play it cool, they won't asks questions._ Dad raises his eyebrows and looks over at mom with a smile pulling at his lips. Mom swats his chest and looks at me with that one eyebrow.

"I'm not sure, why?" Dad hides a snicker behind his hand. I glare at him and look back at Mom to answer her question.

"Well, um, I need to talk to her." I clear my throat in awkwardness.

"About what?" I see that darned tilt in her lip so I know she's trying not to smirk.

"Stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Stuff, Mom, jeez!" I huff.  _They're wasting the time that could be spent convincing Rachel to have my babies._

"Cameron, if I didn't know any better, I'd say our daughter has a crush on a Gorgeous Berry." They burst out laughing and I cross my arms, tapping my foot impatiently. "Oh I'm sorry, Quinn. I mean to say Rachel first then gorgeous!" He sends them into another round of cackles.  _I knew that would bite me in the ass._

I walk off into the neighborhood, hoping Rachel was home. I go five houses down across the street and see Rachel's house with the lights on. I knock firmly on the door but as soon as the sandy haired man answers the door, my confidence evaporates. "Um , hi Mr Berry. I'm here to see if Rachel is here?"

"Hello, Quinn. Call me Hiram." He smiled before he turned around and yelled for Rachel on the stairs. "Come in, she'll be down in a minute." He then led me to the living room to wait.

A minute later, Rachel came down the stairs in the shortest shorts known to man and a tank to.  _My dick twitched._ "H-hi Rachel! I'm Quinn in case you don't remember from last night." I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"I remember. You got in that fight over pizza today at the bowling alley." She raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"Ha, um, that was Santana's fault. And I wouldn't call it a fight per say. Just a disagreement." I explain.

"It was still over a pizza." She chuckled.  _Oh Lord! Was that a choir?_

"oh! I wanted to thank you for that by the way. You really helped us out. That was a great idea, pretty smart actually." I ran my hand through my hair trying to ease my nervousness.

"Is that what you're here for? To thank me?" She crosses her arms, causing her boobs to rise.  _Stay still Kong, your time will come._

"Yes and I wanted to see if we could be friends." I smile and stuff my hand s in my pockets, rocking back on my heels. Her expression is contemplating before she nods slightly. I beam back at her small smile.

"Are you thirsty?" She asks as she motions for me to flow her to the kitchen.  _Water, no. For you, hell yeah, I'm parched!_

"Yeah, my throats a little dry" I say distractedly as I watch her hips as she saunters off in front of me. As my eyes were glued to that  _glorious_  ass, I failed to look where I was going and hit the corner of the table directly on my balls. I don't register the pain for a moment because it went numb. Suddenly fell to my knees as a searing pain rang all through my body starting at my dick and the bottom of my stomach.

"AHHHHHHH!" I squealed like a five year old. I was rolling around on the floor clutching my balls.  _Lord please don't let me new dick fall off!_

"Quinn?" Rachel rushed to my side and kneeled down next to me as her dads come barreling down the stairs with a baseball bat and a shot gun. "What happened?"

I can't answer for a while because I'm wheezing and coughing. "The… corner of… the table!"

"I don't understand, Quinn. What happened?!" Rachel asked in a panicked voice.  _She says my name so pretty and I'll never be able to hear it bed because I broke my dick! Whyyyyyyy?_ The thought of not being able to fuck has me sobbing my heart out on their pretty rug.

"MY DICK! I BROKE MY DICK! " I scream in a panicked soprano. Any surprise they have at me having a penis vanishes in an instant as they rush forward and Rachel gives me a worried look while she grazes my dick as she stands up to get her dad to help me. T _he first time she touches my dick and I almost black out from the pain of it twitching. This is one big ball of WHAT THE FUCK!_

Hiram runs over to me, dropping the baseball bat to the side. "Quinn? We're going to need to go to your house okay? Can you walk?"

"Noooo! I-  _hic_ \- can't br-breatheeeeee!" I wail.  _I just my fucking luck, I'm going to die a virgin without seeing Rachel naked outside of my frequent dreams._

He has Leroy pick me up and carry me to my house, my curses and cries altering the neighborhood of our presence. Rachel knocks on the door looking back at me with a small frown.

"Hello- Quinn, what the hell happened?" Dad says as he takes in my snotty nosed form curled up in a tall black man's chest.

"Daddy, I broke it..." I whisper pitifully. He looks from he to Rachel so she can elaborate.

"Quinn and I were going to get some water and somehow she didn't notice the table in the middle on the floor and hit her, um, penis." She says coolly.

"Aw, shit Q Bug. Come on, I got you." He said scooping me up from Leroy's arms. "CAMERON! COME DOWN HERE!" He calls up the stair as he move to lay me on the couch. Mom stops halfway down the stairs when she catches sight of me but runs the rest of the way and rushes to feel my forehead.  _Wrong head, Mom!_

They tell her what happens and her hand flies to her mouth. I weep as I hear her mutter an 'oh God'.  _I know what that means! It's bleeding and shriveled up to Finn size._

"Quinn, stop being such a pussy, it's probably just bruised." Dad says in a comforting voice and hands me and ice pack.  _Just bruised? JUST BRUISED?! Did he not know that my **brand new**  dick is now scarred! It was perfect! I bet it would have won first prize at any fair, and now it's 'just bruised'. These fuckers just don't get it, do they? I had a theory that of Rachel saw my pretty dick, she'd be compelled to lick it. Not I can't show her my pretty dick because its broken and bruised._

"Thanks for bringing her home." Mom says gratefully to the Berrys. "We're going to take a look at it so we'll see you in the morning." She smiles.  _No! Rachel! Don't go, kiss it better!_

I can only watch with sad eyes as they say good-bye and wave. It only made it worse was that Leroy was blocking my view by going behind her.


	7. Bitches Be Trippin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Quinn get closer (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short chapter, but I promise as soon as life becomes less hectic, I will most definitely be writing longer chapters. But please don't hold your breath for the next update.... umm I have stories on fanfiction.net under BooksThatareMoviesThatareOnTV and KatieMacLove if you like my style and want to read more. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the story thus far. Thanks (:

"Quinn, I need you!" A husky voice wines in my ear as my finger dip lower towards her entrance. She pulls my face towards hers and sucks on my bottom lip causing me to let out a low moan.

"Rachel..." I groan as she scratches me back when the tips pd my fingers go over her swollen nub. I gather her juices and coat my rock hard cock with it. She bites her lip as her back arches, my name falls like smooth water from her lips. "Baby, what do you need?" I say as I pinch her nipple with my free hand.

"You. I need you to fuck me, Quinn." She cries and arches towards me once again as I bite down on a tanned nipple.

"Your wish is my command" I smirk as I kiss her one more before lining up against her entrance. We both cry out in pleasure as heat envelopes heat. I give her a second to adjust before I start at a steady rock. "You feel so good, baby." I take her mouth with mine as she moans deeply. I move to her neck and latch on, biting and soothing.

"Quinn! Harder!" She groans, clawing my back and giving me more space to suck on. I start pounding all eight inches into her relentlessly. She muffles her cries by grabbing onto a pillow as I throw her legs over my shoulders, making it go deeper and hit her g-spot.

"Who can do it like this, Rach? Huh? Who else?" I husks in her ear, the headboard banging the wall faster and faster.

"Ung! N-no... no one! Yes, Quinn! Fuck me!" She yells and thrashes around. I keep pounding into her, our words becoming incoherent. Before long,.she tenses up mid shout. I feel her clench around my rod and my balls tighten to the point where its almost painful.

"Rachel!" I whisper, unable to say much more as I lose my stroke rhythm.

"Quinn!"she yells, but for some reason her voice takes a different tone I ignore it because I'm so close. "Quinn!" It almost sounds deep and demanding, sorta irritated. "Now, Quinn!" It almost sounds like... my dad...

"QUINN"

I jerk awake when a pillow hits me square in the nose while a gruff voice yells my name. no no no! I was so fucking close! I look up to see my dad in a house robe and coffee in his hand. He sips it in a casual manned as though he didn't just wake me up from my sexy Rachel dream.

"Why did you hit he?" I ask, my voice sleepy and eyebrows furrowed. "you should have just told he to wake up!" I pout and get up reluctantly.

Dad raises his eyebrows incredulously, "I DID! now hurry up, you have a guest waiting for you."

So that was his voice interrupting my dream. "Who is it?"

"It's a surprise" I nod an okay and get ready to go the bathroom. "Hey, Q Bug? I guess its not broken!" He chuckles. I look at him in confusion before he lists a brow and looks down.

"Omg! Get out!" I groan as I turn red in mortification. But I can't help but be giddy on the inside because it works. Take that table! You can't break me!

He chuckles as I shove him towards the door. On the way out he turn around and laughs, "Its Rachel!". He giggles like a school girl while running down the hall.

I get ready to close the door when a flash of brown hair catches my eye. Next thing I know, Rachel walk in my room like she owns the place. she looks around with an inquisitive face while I openly gape at her with my hand still on the doorknob and my dick still harder than stone.

"Not bad, Quinn" she assesses before she turns around to look at me. She raises an eyebrow as she looks me up and down. Oh shit, Quinn Kong! I hurriedly cover it up. But what if that was an impressed eyebrow? I uncover it and stand up straight with a smirk.

"Don't be cocky, it doesn't suit you." She deadpans. I deflate and furrow my eyebrows. "Now where's this comic book you wanted to show me?" She smiles.

"What are you doing here , Rachel?" I asks in confusion.

Her smile falters. She cocks her head to the side with a mock pout, "Did you not want to see me?"

"What? No! I mean yes I want to see you, no now though. I just meant that I didn't want you to see me like this" because I just had the best wet dream about you and all I want to do is bend you over my desk and fuck you cross-eyed.

I get both eyebrows raised in response so I hurry to say something "Not that I'm ashamed of my junk, quiet the contrary. Cuz its big. Like bigger than Finn, which doesn't mean anything cuz he has a toddler dick, but I'm still way bigger so you shouldn't talk to him." I say as casual as I can, running my hands over the dresser and walking around.

She looks at me, chuckling and shaking her head. "Okay, Quinn. I get it." She turns towards my gaming system and shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I just wanted to see how you and Little Q are doing" She says with a hint of affection in her voice.

"Aww, that's sweet - wait, did you just call Quinn Kong little?" 'Hell naww, we gonna have to show her. ' 'Dont whip it out yet, she ain't ready!' 'You right... next time. Ohh, wifey is saying something! Stop talking to your self!

"You call your penis King Kong?" Rachel says in an amused tone.

"Quinn Kong." I correct her, "Like my name before the Kong. Cuz when it comes out, bitches start trippin'... so yeah. Its Quinn Kong" I explain with a nod and a playful smile.

"That's cute, Q. Nice little ring to it, don't you think" she smirks and gets out COD. You won't think its cute when you see it in the pool and cry snake!

"Sure, let's play so I can beat your virtual ass for calling me cute. "

She smiles and gets her controller. "I called the nick name cute, Quinn."

"Ohhhh. Buts its sexy not cute." I say with a pout.

"You definitely are that." She says coyly with a wink.

Lord give me strength.


End file.
